Courtesy – Is It Really That Common These Days?

What Happened to Common Courtesy?

I can’t help but begin to wonder these days. A colleague of mine and I were discussing this trend just today. It was once a social embarrassment to not only the one who refused to show courtesy, but it would also reflect poorly on their parents. I would say that I had the scars to show how I learned those lessons, but they have since healed. (Not physical scars, but ones that were “burned” into my psyche”)

It’s a Southern Thing

We all know how southern hospitality is renown throughout the United States. We’ve all seen the stereotypical sitcoms who also portray the proper southern way of being impolite – One can say anything they want about anyone… as long as they say “Bless their heart”. (i.e. – He’s dumber than a coal bucket and uglier than sin, bless his heart). This is meant to show that we actually have an endearing fondness of the person while really putting them down, but this is not actually how we as proper southerners act.

Be Brave – Be Polite.

It is always the right thing to do. As a famous man once said: “Good Manners, are never a waste of time.” Clarence Thomas once said, “Good Manners will open doors that a good education will not.”

Even when crafting a declaration of war, it is proper to be polite and diplomatic. In a world where we share different beliefs and ideals and separate peoples, it is imperative that we remain civil in order to work with one another, even in contentious times. Such common courtesies allow us to interact with our friends and foes alike, while sharing a certain level of decency – once common throughout the civilized world. I say civilized world, as there are many civilizations that have not previously interacted with what we call first or second world countries, thus they would have no preconceived ideas of what is expected of them in their dealings with others.

Politics have become uncivilized

We see people in other countries who would seem to be disrespectful and have a lack of courtesy to their peers or political opponents. This has begun to manifest itself in the United States in the two-party system, and the mainstream media within the past few years. The democratic party has become very emboldened and often puts forth false statements and misinformation against the republican party members in an effort to derail their talking points. It often points to the lack of an agenda, where the party appears to drive their base supports with emotion instead of ideas and policies. The republican party efforts hold fast to refuting such antagonistic statements and always play defense instead of using emotion and facts in their favor. President Trump appears to be the only one on the republican ticket with the ability to use emotion and policy. The media has also began using misinformation or misdirection along with emotional segments to promote their stories – whether they are factual or not. The press and political parties have fallen into the background noise of society and lost much of their impact due to their actions.

Will Society Suffer

As parents have become easier on their children, no longer correcting them in public or at home… only to “let them be”. We have experienced a steady decline in the civility of our society as measured by our common courtesy, chivalrous actions, and sense of decency. As those of us who are “schooled” on the finer points of etiquette and  common courtesy, it is our duty to continue leading by example. Eventually we shall see a resurgence of chivalry and the growth of courtesy where it may once again be… common.

It is up to us. Parents, children, grandparents, teachers, colleagues… they all need to have these traits displayed to them often. The once-forgotten courtesies within them may once again surface. They too may join the cool train and hold doors and be polite as well. This is the circle of life. We teach to our kids by showing them how we treat others, so they treat others, so they treat us well, and see us treating them well… – okay I’ve gotten myself lost, but I hope you see where I was going with this before I derailed. 🙂

Have a servant’s heart. No matter what your station is in life, we all serve one another. The people work for a boss, who works for the CEO, who works for the board, who works for the share-holders, who work for the customers, who are the people. Get it?

In closing – Remember: Good manners are never a waste of time.